Strategies for Thriving (not just surviving) this Holiday Season with Chaandani Kahn (Part1) | E43

Holidays can feel like a sensory obstacle course when you’re healing from a concussion or navigating post-concussion syndrome. We unpack a clear, compassionate plan to trade overwhelm for ease—without opting out of the moments that matter. With returning guest Chaandani Khan, we explore how to choose fewer, more meaningful events, set time limits that prevent crashes, and skip the infamous "Minnesota goodbye" by aligning expectations with your host. You’ll get practical boundary scripts that don’t feel awkward, plus mindset shifts that protect identity and fuel progress.

We go deep on managing sensory load in real time. Learn how to claim the best seat in the room and use casual strategies to reach quieter corners without missing out.  If masking drains you, we talk through honest check-ins and how to leave before your system tips into a multi-day setback.

Food and drink play a bigger role than most realize. We break down how gut permeability and a stressed blood-brain barrier can turn sugar and alcohol into headache and brain fog triggers. Get solutions you can use immediately: eat before you go, bring safe snacks and non-alcoholic options, and answer dietary questions simply—no long explanations needed. By combining sensory smarts, recovery-day buffers, and steady nutrition, you’ll keep your energy for connection, not recovery spirals.

If this conversation helps, tap follow, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review—it’s the best holiday gift you can give our show. What strategy will you try first?

Connect with Chaandani at www.returntolife.ca and discover how her work is helping bridge the gap between patients and practitioners in the concussion recovery journey.

Email Chaandani: hello@returntolife.ca

Get 20% off your first order of Puori protein with code LIFEAFTERIMPACT by following this link.

Chapters

• 0:00 Sugar Sensitivity After Brain Injury
• 0:49 Welcome And Guest Reintroduction
• 3:13 Holidays As Thrival, Not Survival
• 4:04 Plan Fewer, More Meaningful Events
• 6:14 Time Limits And The Minnesota Goodbye
• 10:57 Boundaries, Language, And Identity
• 16:36 Schedule Rest And Recovery Days
• 22:34 Masking, Capacity, And Burnout
• 26:34 Managing Sensory Load In Crowds
• 30:35 Earplugs, Tinted Lenses, And Seating
• 34:26 Self-Advocacy Versus Social Niceness
• 39:35 Food, Alcohol, And Trigger Awareness
• 43:02 Gut-Brain Barrier And Sugar Effects
• 45:35 Part One Wrap And Listener CTA

Transcript

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 0:00

One of the things that has become more obvious for a lot of my patients is that before they had their brain injury, maybe they could tolerate sugar and it wasn't they didn't notice any ill effects from it. And then after the brain injury, all of a sudden eating sugar became a very obvious trigger for them to have a headache or to feel more brain fog or to feel horrible the next day as far as energy levels. If we have an increased permeability of the blood-brain barrier and an increased permeability of the gut barrier, well, then we're probably going to be much more sensitive to, you know, sugar and alcohol and processed foods and just stuff like that that maybe somebody didn't quite notice ill effects from prior to their injury. And now those things are really problematic. Welcome to Life After Impact, the Concussion Recovery Podcast. I'm Dr. Ayla Wolf, and I'll be hosting today's episode where we help you navigate the often confusing, frustrating, and overwhelming journey of concussion and brain injury recovery. This podcast is your go-to resource for actionable information, whether you're dealing with a recent concussion, struggling with post-concussion syndrome, or just feeling stuck in your healing process. In each episode, we dive deep into the symptoms, testing, treatments, and neurological insights that can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. We bring you leading experts in the world of brain health, functional neurology, and rehabilitation to share their wisdom and strategies. So if you're feeling lost, hopeless, or like no one understands what you're going through, know that you are not alone. This podcast can be your guide and partner in recovery, helping you build a better life after impact. Chaandani Khan, welcome back to Life After Impact. It's so good to see you again. Thank you. It's always great chatting with you.

Chaandani Khan: 1:58

Yeah, what's new since I talked to you last? What's new? What a question. There are so many things since we spoke last as I had a really packed uh summer season. Um, just a lot of exciting business building, um, some pivots in what I'm doing as well. On a personal level, um, you know, it was so busy. I did a little bit of travel, so I got to go to New York, which is really nice, and a couple other smaller local trips. So I've just been on the go since we chatted last.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 2:27

And how'd you do with New York? I know that can be a bit of a sensory overload.

Chaandani Khan: 2:32

New York is definitely sensory overload, I think, for a lot of people, whether you are functioning um in a neurotypical way or or in a neurodiverse way as well. Um, I, you know, if I practice what I preach, I have all my strategies stacked up. So I felt pretty good when I was there. Um, but I definitely did have some moments where I thought about uh the times when I was really in the depths of my struggle years ago and how that wouldn't have been possible for me to just walk down the street and and feel like anything in my system was relaxed and calm and safe. Um, so it was actually I did actually specifically have a couple of moments there where I just really recognized how great things are for me right now and in my system and in my my space of recovery.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 3:13

Well, and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to uh do this particular episode with you today, because I feel like you would have a lot of insights into our topic, which is uh surviving the holidays, where we often are doing more than we're used to, often committing to more social events and putting ourselves in places where there's going to be a lot of people, a lot of noise, a lot of lights. And so I thought it would be great to do an episode that is not just a holiday uh survival episode, but a thrival episode.

Chaandani Khan: 3:47

I love that.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 3:48

A thrival. Oh my gosh, that's so cute. I'm going to borrow that word. Please do, please do. So uh so this is our holiday thrival episode. And I figured we could um maybe start out by talking about just planning, right? So planning ahead. And I know it can be easy to say yes to everything or feel like we have to do everything. So one of the things that I think would be a good thing to keep in mind is choosing your events wisely, right? Yeah. And so not feeling obligated to attend every single gathering, but maybe picking the ones that matter the most emotionally. Like who are the people that you really want to see or spend time with, as opposed to feeling obligated to just do everything that comes your way.

Chaandani Khan: 4:36

Yeah, I think that's such a great point. And this is this is actually advice that, you know, people who are neurodiverse or experiencing neurodiversity definitely will uh resonate with them, but also people who are not. I think this is just solid advice anyway, just to really anchor into what will move the needle forward most for you emotionally, is so to say. What's going to feel the best, what's going to light you up the most? You know, if we hyper focus on the concept of brain injury and overstimulation and all these different things that we can struggle with. I think really, again, just leaning into what lights me up the most in this moment is a great space to be in. It definitely involves a mindset shift. Um, but when you're able to do that for yourself, everything becomes a little bit easier around you.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 5:19

Yeah, for sure. And I know for me, it is easy to kind of like what how do I want to say it? I I think that I'm always capable of just adding more and more and more to my plate. Um and then all of a sudden it's like then you realize, oops, I just stepped over my edge, right? And so that's it.

Chaandani Khan: 5:40

And especially for people who have, you know, you and I share this, this um inner A-type, or maybe I sometimes refer to myself as like a recovering A-type, which is not a dirty word. Really, it isn't. Like I, it's something that I've always loved. Um, and I say with a with pride and with support for. Um, but when you have that tendency and then have an injury, and then you recover, it's very easy to go back into that tendency, or just to say, this is my set point, this is the familiar, this is how I've always shown up. So I like what you're saying. I think it makes a lot of sense, and just actively choosing um what to partake in is really important.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 6:14

And then the the follow-up to that in terms of like sometimes we could set a time limit on, okay, I have to go or I I feel like I have to go to this event, or I want to go to this event. Maybe I put a time limit on how long I'm gonna be there.

Chaandani Khan: 6:30

Yes, yeah. It is the concept of just kind of re-exploring what that could look like. Maybe you can attend the two events that you have that week, but maybe you just need to shift how you're doing it. I think that this involves a little bit of creativity as well as some flexibility and mindset again. Just saying, you know, perhaps like in my old self or before I felt the way that I feel right now, I would have gone to the entire events. They're four hours each, they're 10 hours each, you know. Um, but just you still can be there. It's just how does that look?

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 6:57

Yeah. And so I you're from Canada, but in Minnesota, we have this concept called the Minnesota goodbye. I would like to know what this is. Okay, so this is basically when you're ready to leave, you feel obligated to say goodbye to every single person at the event.

Chaandani Khan: 7:15

Okay, so then I have that inside me. Like that is me in the Minnesota goodbye. I had no idea.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 7:21

Yeah, and so before you know it, like you're you're you hit your your limit, you're ready to leave, and then all of a sudden you're there an hour and a half later because you then had to have a conversation with every single person in the room your way out the door.

Chaandani Khan: 7:36

You know what? That is very solid advice to avoid the Minnesota goodbye, to sit with yourself probably before you go into the event and really just set your mind on when I'm ready to leave, this is the process I will follow, or at least have some kind of a framework of what that looks like. Yeah. I didn't know it was called that. Now I know I feel seen.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 7:54

I have a friend who this back when I was living in Oregon, he was notorious for showing up to a party and then disappearing. And he he was like the opposite of the Minnesota goodbye. And so you never knew. It was always like, oh, where'd he go? Where is he? Oh, I guess he and it's you know, I so I think that maybe we should embrace the the opposite of the Minnesota goodbye and just practice a disappearing act and be okay with that.

Chaandani Khan: 8:20

You know what? You're not wrong on that. And you know what? To be very honest, that is something that okay, so my natural set point is apparently now I know the Minnesota goodbye. That's how I used to operate. Um, but since my brain injury, I've really I've done a deep dive into into boundaries and into mindset and into just re-exploring how I show up. And so, I mean, I am a person that nowadays at least I do attend a lot of events. Um, and so I am frequently around a high volume of people. I'm probably speaking with a lot of them. And I have to say that I've I've done pretty well in means of deciding internally. I'm like, okay, well, you know, it's time to wrap my night up. And the people I'm talking to in the immediate group, I'll, you know, wish a good night, maybe just kind of make eye contact across the room, buy it was nice talking, and then, you know, see myself out. So it's kind of it's kind of a blend of those two worlds, but but it definitely does take intention for me to do that because it's so easy just to pop by and especially if you're networking, you know, running, I run a business. So you're networking and you want to say, hey, it was great chatting with you. Let's, you know, let's connect on Wednesday or you know, whatever it is. So exactly. Yeah.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 9:21

And for I mean, for me, I always do well with one-on-one. And so if I am in an event like that, I think it's helpful for me to maybe see it as an opportunity to say a quick hello to somebody and then use that opportunity to be like, oh, and you and I should get together at a later date, just the two of us, where there's not like all this chaos happening.

Chaandani Khan: 9:42

That's a great way to do it as well. I mean, I mean, to be honest, like even getting together with somebody without all the background noise and chaos, like that's just a better conversation, probably. At least I could say um you'd use energy more efficiently and perhaps be able to dive in a little bit deeper, remember things a little bit better. There's a lot to be said about that.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 10:01

Yeah, yeah. Especially for people like us who maybe aren't super interested in just having a bunch of shallow surface level conversations with you.

Chaandani Khan: 10:09

You know what? You say that, and I absolutely grin because I was just speaking with somebody else who's also a survivor, uh, very high-functioning individual. Um, she's a keynote speaker in the brain injury space as well. We were just speaking yesterday and we just had a little giggle over that exact concept. So feeling feeling really seen in that. Um, you know, and and along the lines of um of kind of mentally preparing yourself for your departure, mentally preparing yourself to be at this event, another idea uh is to kind of communicate ahead of time with the host, maybe either what your needs are or what your time frame is, just so that kind of helps to relieve a bit of like anxiety or pressure that you're feeling and also set expectations for others.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 10:49

Yeah. And if you are going to an event where there is a host that you are close with or that you know well, maybe as you're doing your non-Minnesota goodbye, you say goodbye to the host, and then they can now be your spokesperson for saying, Oh yeah, they they left already.

Chaandani Khan: 11:05

That that is a powerful strategy, yes, completely. At least when the host knows, and if someone is looking for you, that's fantastic. The host can inform them. Um not that it's not that it's the onus is on them to do so, but at least they're aware of where you are. Yeah. Um yeah, and I, you know, I think you and I had spoken and you'd mentioned how important wording can be um when you're communicating with anybody, but especially in this case, communicating with the host. Did you want to share some thoughts that you have on that?

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 11:31

Yeah, I I think one of the things I pay attention to, especially when I'm working with my patients in the clinic, is I'm I'm paying attention to how people are phrasing things. And I think that for me personally, when I use a phrase like instead of I have a brain injury, to say a phrase like I'm recovering from a brain injury, it leaves room for for the it leaves room for recovery, it leaves room for the hope, it leaves room for the fact that improvements are happening rather than having kind of an identity that says, I am injured, right? Or I have a brain injury, I just like to use a phrasing that doesn't necessarily create an identity around being stuck, but an identity around I'm working through this. And so I sometimes that phrasing, even though it may be subtle, I think it's profound in the way that we are wiring pathways in our brain and the way that we're thinking about things and the way that we're communicating things. Uh, and so that's just one of the things I like to throw out there to you know the patients that I work with as well.

Chaandani Khan: 13:51

I love that. And I think it's really important, like what you're sharing from an inner self-dialogue perspective, as well as when you're speaking externally to others. I just want to echo what you said about really the body is always listening to us. And so, whatever you're feeding it, our subconscious is just constantly receiving and saying, Great, I hear you, I'm going to pull that into my existence, right? Just to take this like a level deeper. Um, and so to your point, like whether you're sharing with others externally and really just helping them to understand that I'm in a period of recovery. Maybe you don't have to say, This is what it looks like or this is my end date, because you don't know those things. But you know, let them know. And your body is also listening to everything you say. And, you know, it might sound like the most granular, smallest, silliest thing to some people, depending on your mindset, depending on where you are in your recovery. But genuinely, these things all do add up and and they do make a difference overall.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 14:39

Yeah, I remember one time my mom coming up to me and saying, you know, I just realized that I have spent the last 20 years of my life saying, I have insomnia. And so she kind of had this epiphany of like, man, I've been telling myself I have this, right? Yeah, right. He just literally that one day was like, I'm never saying those words again. Like, I'm not gonna say that.

Chaandani Khan: 15:00

I love that. Was that after speaking with you? Was that a conversation you had with her? I wonder if you just naturally you show up this way and she kind of picked that up in a conversation or just the way you were speaking.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 15:10

I don't, I don't think so. I won't, I'm not gonna take credit for that one, but I do remember her saying that after she intentionally stopped saying and telling herself on a daily basis that she has insomnia, she's like, My sleep actually got better when I stopped telling myself this every single day.

Chaandani Khan: 15:26

It's so true. And I mean, oh my gosh, there are things like neurolinguistic programming, there's loop affirmations, there are there is, you know, universal laws behind this we could dive into. Perhaps we'll stay on track for today's purposes, but but really, you know, it is, I mean, or not. Let's just see where we go, right? Absolutely. Um, but but but really there's so much behind what you're saying. And I just really want to like again like highlight this point for anybody listening who's working through a brain injury, regardless of if you're at, you know, the early, like you're early into it, whether you've been at it for years in your recovery, it is so important. And it's not something that you just, it's not a strategy you just use and you instantly receive gratification and you instantly see a difference in, but very much over a period of time.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 16:08

Yeah, yeah. I would agree with him. And yeah, it's definitely um a philosophy that can be can be applied to all areas of life, um, whether you're talking about money or anything, right? Um, we we could dive deep. I sense another episode coming.

Chaandani Khan: 16:24

Um on the note of events, there's something that is really important. This is something that I still very much actively need to talk to myself and tell myself and intentionally choose to do the strategy. But scheduling rest days between events. This is something that is critical to be able to show up as your fullest self and also not totally get to the end of your energy and then just exhaust yourself for days after. Um, you know, referring to them as neuro recovery days. I think this is something you could speak to a little bit as well.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 16:58

You know, I think this is one of those things that almost happens unconsciously in my mind, where if I know, like for example, um, you know, my sister's planning, we have a book club that we're in that she started like 16 years ago. And so we always do a holiday book club event. And so I actually have to see patients that entire day, which is gonna mean that I'm gonna drive 40 minutes to work. I'm gonna see patients back to back all day long, and then I have to drive an hour and 40 minutes right to her house to get there late for book club, and then I'm probably gonna stay the night. And so already in my brain, I'm like, ooh, that's gonna be a long day.

Chaandani Khan: 17:38

Yeah, I mean, you're saying that, and I'm just like catching my breath a little bit for you. One, because I totally relate with taking that kind of a day on, but also two, because that is a long day and you don't have that critical downtime, that critical rest period in between. Even if it's if it's 15 minutes of rest or silence or just like a calm environment. Um, yeah, so I'm I'm catching my breath for you.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 17:58

Well, and sometimes when I I need a moment like that, even if I'm in the car, I will just I mean, I live out in the country, so the drive is gonna be lovely. Okay, that's nice. Um, and so sometimes I do just turn the radio off, I turn the podcast off. I I literally just drive in silence and focus on my breathing and take that minute of okay, let's just like have no nothing external stimulating our brain other than just driving through the country.

Chaandani Khan: 18:26

So yes, no, that sounds like a really good reset. Um, just a note on that piece. Um, you know, I I am really glad to hear that that is something for your system where that is peaceful and that's not full downtime, but but pretty close to it, it sounds like you're able to strip away the external stimuli. Um, just a note for other people, um, myself, for example, driving was a task that was extraordinarily challenging and really just zapped my energy to the point where, you know, again, when I was in the pit of my of my experience and the pit of my recovery, so to say, um, you know, there were a lot of times where I wouldn't drive a vehicle because I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel that I had enough within me to be able to operate that vehicle. Um, so this just also just goes to say, you know, how subjective the experience can be and how, you know, perhaps if somebody lives in a similar area to you, maybe that is something that they could try as well on those, on those days. I um again, the concept of scheduling rest days between events. I'm thinking about my upcoming holiday season, which for me I celebrate Christmas. Um, and you know, I was just talking to my partner about this yesterday and saying, I have overscheduled, hard stop. I need to, I need to bake some rest periods, some downtime into what we're doing because it's just so full on. Um, and so that's something that I'm personally working on. And just wondering, reenvisioning how this could look because I don't want to. I don't want to do that. I want to show up, I want my stack days, I want to see all the family members in three different cities in a short period of time. Um, however, this is something that you know I'm actively going to uh work on as well.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 19:57

Yeah.

Chaandani Khan: 19:57

And just see when and how I can do that.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 19:59

Yeah, exactly. And I think when you bring that intention to it, uh it's then then it's gonna happen, right? If you don't intentionally focus on it, it's not gonna just naturally happen.

Chaandani Khan: 20:10

Absolutely. That like that's it. Like a huge piece in brain injury recovery is learning that skill of intentionality and learning how how what that can look like for you and how to pull that into your experience. Because you know, when you when you are in an experience of your brain no longer operating the exact way that you always knew it to, something has to change. Right. And if you I I mean, in I will just put myself out there and say that for the first year, I was I struggled a lot and I really fought against my brain. And that didn't do me any justice, right? So, you know, it's not if if for people who are listening, if it sounds like it's easy for me to say right now, it's it's just that I've gone through it and have really reworked that and heard from so many other people who are in a space where they are fighting it in different ways, but intentionality is something that can really, really help. Yeah.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 20:57

And you've had those experiences where you didn't listen and you thought you could just push through it and then you suffered the the consequences after fact after the fact.

Chaandani Khan: 21:04

Yes, yes. I have deeply humbled myself on a number of occasions, and that's exactly genuinely, even though I am so many years out, this is something that I am cognizant of for me that I still partake in is scheduling, you know, downtime and rest periods, just so that I can show up as my fullest. So it's still an act of practice for me. I'm six and a half years out. Um, just to, you know, share with others, like, you know, hopefully you feel seen in in what I'm sharing and and what you're sharing as well, Ayla.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 21:31

Yeah, I think the place where I haven't done a great job of that is a lot of times if I'm teaching a weekend workshop, I will be trying to cram as many patients into my schedule before I have to leave town. And so I'm like working, working, working, working, and then also simultaneously preparing for the seminar. And then by the time I get to the seminar, I'm already feeling exhausted and burnt out. Absolutely. A terrible feeling because I want to give these people who are paying to hear me speak my best, right? And so, you know, moving forwards, like one of my kind of resolutions, not necessarily a new year resolution, but just one of my resolutions. Okay. You know, juggling a clinic and a teaching schedule, really wanting to make sure that I can show up when I have to teach and feel like I am refreshed and I do have energy and I'm not showing up exhausted and burnt out and frazzled and yes.

Chaandani Khan: 22:28

And and important to say that, you know, when you are showing up, and I know that you are you are in a you have an incredibly high capacity, you are incredible in the space, you lead a lot of change, a lot of thought, you help others in so many different ways. And it's important to say that, you know, when what you're describing, I think a lot of people do relate with, whether they are they have the same level of capacity or if they have a different capacity, but whatever their body feels is a lot for them. You know, and it's just this feeling, and and I and I understand it personally, this feeling of I can do it, I can show up, I can have a smile on my face, I can be charming and delightful and educate people. Um, but it's the way that you feel inside. And like I just want to highlight that that's what you're sharing. If you know people are listening and maybe they haven't had our shared experience that we're talking about with brain injury, it's it's that you can do these things and people can see you in a certain way, but it's it's a mask that you know we're putting on still in different ways to be able to show up, to be able to serve, um, or even just to be able to have a casual hangout with your partner on the couch after a long day and and really be present in that moment.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 23:29

Yeah, because wearing that mask is also work.

Chaandani Khan: 23:32

It takes work, it takes effort. It's hard, it's hard work. It's very hard. It's those moments that, you know, maybe you haven't, you being Vu, being everyone, perhaps universally, maybe someone hasn't, you know, they haven't balanced their day very well, they haven't balanced their week very well. And even wearing a mask, you get home, you take the mask off. And for me, you know, I I try not to do that too often, but it's not perfect, right? Like sometimes I do end up doing that. And it's just this level of weight that you feel, even when the mask comes off. Just because you're like, whoa, my whole system has been just firing at every, every single part has been firing away, and now I can breathe. And it's almost more tiring in that moment. So, you know, bouncing back from that is a bit harder than if you just have downtime and and really balance how your body needs.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 24:16

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm saying this publicly so that I then have to stick to it, right? It's like the easier you tell, the more you're like, okay.

Chaandani Khan: 24:26

As soon as you said this is my resolution, instantly, I was like, Oh, she's holding herself to this for sure now. This is out. Not only with me, but with everybody listening. Yeah. So yeah.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 24:36

I'm kind of notorious for having really bizarre New Year's resolutions. Um I come up with some pretty interesting ones.

Chaandani Khan: 24:44

Okay, listen, here's the thing is we're we're talking on your podcast. Part of me was just like, okay, give me a really weird one. But I don't know that I'll put you on that spot. We could also, you know, move our conversation along.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 24:54

We can, okay. So I think one of the funniest ones was I one day or like one moment, I felt like I'm such a rule follower. So my New Year's resolution was to just try to break a few rules. Like break a few more rules. You know what?

Chaandani Khan: 25:07

I like that. I like the for you. It's like it's it's it's like flexibility and mindset as well that you're you're challenging.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 25:13

Yeah, it's like you know, the court says no public access. Maybe I just cracked the door open. See what's behind it.

Chaandani Khan: 25:18

And her life of crime begins.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 25:22

Well, that was probably that was probably back in like, I don't know, a couple years ago. I I'm not in jail. So uh we're good.

Chaandani Khan: 25:30

We're good. I'm I'm teasing. No, no, I mean what you're sharing, I think there are such such manageable ways to do that. And and I can see like the application to like more like greater parts of your life as well with doing something like that. And just it's really challenging yourself to think outside the box in ways that you wouldn't normally.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 25:45

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think one time I did actually crash a private party at Prince's recording studio. And so, and that's like one of the best stories I've ever had in my life, right? So I'm like, maybe I need to break more rules and just bring a little bit more excitement into my life.

Chaandani Khan: 26:03

Maybe and maybe excitement into the life of others, right? Like all those people, I'm sure they were so happy to receive you. They're like, Who is this? Great, we're glad she's here now.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 26:12

I don't know about that.

Chaandani Khan: 26:13

I did get kicked out very politely.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 26:16

Okay, okay.

Chaandani Khan: 26:17

Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the interaction, even if they're asking you to leave, right?

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 26:21

That's right. That's right. Um yes, but anyway, okay, so moving on. Yeah, okay. Yes, next, let's talk about managing the sensory load. Because when when I think holidays, right, you think bright lights, flashing lights, loud music, obnoxious music, all the things. And uh, when I was a teenager, I had a job at uh wrapping gifts at the buckle. And so I had to listen to like holiday music playing on a loop for eight hours a day as I wrapped presents. Uh yeah. If that's not feeling, you know, holiday or Christmas, I don't know what is. Right. Yeah. So and there was one particular annoying song that just every time it came on, I was just okay, please, please, can we not play this 20 times an hour? But anyway, so um so avoiding sensory stacking uh in the sense of if we know that we're going to a place where there's a lot of lights or sounds and conversation and people. I know for me personally, if I'm talking to somebody and I'm having a hard time hearing them or I'm having a hard time concentrating because there's so much happening, I will frequently say to that person, like, can we just step into another room where it's a little bit quieter? Yes. And I take myself out of the situation where I know I'm not how I'm not doing so well.

Chaandani Khan: 27:43

That's so smart. And it also speaks to just how you've gained this level of comfort in asking for what you need, which is so important in the space. It's a skill that I think it comes over time and it does involve intention. Surprise, the word intention coming back for us again. Um, and I think that's a beautiful strategy. That's, you know, I I very much relate with what you're saying as well, and I know a ton of people listening do as well. Just when you think about the holidays, it's true. Like it's not just bright lights, it's flashing bright lights, it's different colors of lights. It's that stacks with with with movement, with people around the room, with laughing, with food, with eating, with, you know, with oh my gosh, all the sounds as well. So that's a great strategy. And I hope other people try that out. Um, what I do as well is if I'm talking to somebody and you know, maybe I'm further away from a place that would be quiet, I often say, Hey, can you just come with me and I'll find a wall and put myself against a wall with my back against a wall because that limits the sounds behind me. Um, if there is a chance when you're coming into a space or maybe a dinner or maybe an event, and there is a chance to sit in a chair with my back against a wall, I will always do that. And sometimes I will just so boldly ask someone, hey, like, would you be open to me switching seats with you? I had a brain injury and I struggle to hear. And although there are more complex processes happening than struggling to hear, quote unquote, it's something short and sweet that a lot of people are able to easily understand. Absolutely. And then, you know, make a decision of if that's okay to switch seats, for example.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 29:09

Yeah, and like you said, you just you kept it brief, you kept it sweet, and most people would not hesitate to say, of course, I'd be happy to switch seats with you.

Chaandani Khan: 29:18

Exactly. Or even if we're having a chat, like I'll just, I don't know, I try to be kind of charming about it and giving my secrets away. Now, if people listen and I'm networking with them, they will know what I'm up to. But you know, I might say, like, we're in the middle of chatting and I'll say, Hey, walk and talk with me. And I just they're intrigued. So we just we just drift into you know an area that's a bit quieter and much like you're saying. Yeah, yeah, love it. Um earplugs as well. Though I I used to carry, I'm not kidding you, three types of earplugs with me to every event that I went to just because it would give me the option. They had, you know, varying levels of um, I guess you would say like sound protection or background noise um canceling, if you will. And to be honest, you know, it was to the point where I would not leave the house, or if I had left the house and I'd forgotten even one pair of earplugs, then I would be late going to the event. I would take time, I would go home, I would find them, I would pack them, and then I would leave again. Which, as you know, does it can chip away at your precious energy source, especially when you're in a space of really struggling in that way. Um, but to me, it was just so worth it. I would often wear um, I preferred um in-ear earplugs. I won't give any names right now, but there are different names that are really big on the market. Um, and I would usually just wear one in my ear at events because it would, in my the way that I would describe it, it would cut background noise enough so that I was able to just focus with my one ear. The only thing is that it worked really well for me personally, just with how, you know, I was struggling in really chaotic, noisy environments. Um, but when speaking one-on-one, it was a little bit more challenging to speak with somebody and I would find myself turning my ear to them, which eventually I just gave into. And I was like, you know what? I can't hear that well. Can I so if I'm leaning into you with my ears, I'm just really focusing on what you're saying. Again, another strategy.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 31:02

I think that's a great one. And I know some people also l like to use just tinted lenses, what you know, wear glasses that just And everybody has a unique preference for what color lens seems to give them the most sense of relaxation. I know for some people, green works great, for other people, the rose tinted or the red could tinted. Um, but so that's right. For some people, just kind of removing a certain wavelength of light, just filtering out certain light, is enough to just uh get a little bit more of a relaxation effect into their nervous system in a place where they're already feeling overstimulated.

Chaandani Khan: 31:39

Exactly. And this is something that I think more people need to know about because you know, I what I know now, of course I wish I knew then when I was struggling the most, but there were a lot of gaps in in my treatment plans and my recovery. And I really could have used some type of lenses, like cloudy days, cloudy days when it's just overcast but really bright outside, those were so exhausting for me. Like I would just be flattened. And, you know, now I realize a little bit more about the visual system and tinted lenses and all they could do for you. Yeah.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 32:08

And I think, you know, obviously where I live, there's lots of snow. And so when you have the white snow and the sun glaring off that snow, I've also done a lot of research into just sunglasses in general. And there is a big difference in the quality of polarized lenses in terms of how well they work and help your eyes to relax. And sometimes, you know, certain brands or less expensive brands might not actually be working as well. And they might cause you to still have some eye strain that could be relieved by a higher quality lens. So the quality of the lens really does matter, especially when you're trying to cut out a lot of that glare.

Chaandani Khan: 32:49

It really, really does. It makes a difference. And I, you know, when you talk about polarized lenses, I even think back to growing up. I for some reason I had a lot of friends who are lifeguards and um they would wear polarized lenses when they were working. And even, you know, in that case, they weren't working through a brain injury necessarily, but they saw a great, a great difference in their energy and their eye strain and their ability to actually do their job for eight plus hours a day and you know, be under the sun at water and such. And I think that is such a great tip for people who live in snowy environments. To your point, um, yes, they can definitely, they generally are more expensive. But if someone is able to, if you're able to kind of pick and choose types of tools that were really meant for your brain injury, um, that I think that's a really important one.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 33:30

Yep, for sure. And then you kind of alluded to this one already, but one of the tips is this idea of positioning yourself strategically. So whether that means if you're in a room, like you said, you put your back against the wall, all of a sudden there's not a bunch of sound coming from behind you. Um but also I think for some people, like I had a patient who um suffered from psychogenic seizures and flashing lights were a trigger. And so if she was out at a restaurant and they would have a Christmas tree or something that had lights on it and it was flashing, she just knew right out of the cage, like I should not sit in a place where that tree is in my line of sight because it's probably gonna trigger a seizure. And so even for people who maybe it's not that extreme, but they know sometimes you can sit somewhere and just you're immediately kind of irritated by what you're having, what what is happening in front of you, right? And that's it, yes. And so again, going back to uh, you know, we talk about the Minnesota goodbye. There's also in Minnesota, we talk about this Minnesota nice thing where a lot of times people won't advocate for themselves because they don't want to appear rude. And so I feel like I am uh I've struggled with that where I don't want to appear rude by saying, I can't sit here, or can you turn your lights off, or can you like, can you change your environment for me? Um and so I've kind of learned, I I think I learned this behavior of let me just sit and suffer through it. And I think as I get older, I'm now a little bit more uh willing to say, let me just, I'm gonna change spots or I'm gonna move or I'm gonna do something so that I'm not sitting here feeling super irritated and a sense like have sensory overwhelmed because of this flashing light that I have to stare at from this particular scene.

Chaandani Khan: 35:20

Yeah. No, absolutely. And I mean, I'm so glad to hear about that evolution that you've experienced just in means of social convention, in means of you know, familiarity, in means of your own internal, internal dialogue as well. That's huge. And that's something whether someone is, you know, in Minnesota has grown up in or has lived in that type of environment, or I think that's true in a lot of different cities, a lot of different countries. This is something that, you know, even you know, I'm yes, Canadian, born and raised here, lived in, you know, however, um, A, I've spoken to a lot of people from a lot of different areas of the world. Um, B, I've I've traveled quite a lot in my life, and I see this quite consistently that, you know, it's it's a way of being polite. You don't want to impose upon others, right? But enter brain injury into the chat, right? Like this becomes a very different conversation and a very different topic. And I often refer to, you know, when I had my brain injury being being enrolled in what I call boundaries 101 because really, well, you're laughing, and you know, people on us insiders, we know it's it just brings a different lens on your entire existence. And it's kind of up to us to either, you know, in these moments like what you're describing, sitting in a room with flashing lights or just feeling so deeply irritated because there's so much stimulation around you and your system's overloaded. It just, it all of a sudden with brain injury, it becomes a question of, you know, well, uh protecting yourself and your needs, it's self-preservation in a sense, right? And there are ways to have those conversations with others. There are ways to ask, but I think it starts with coming, coming from within. It starts with you finding a way to be comfortable and in in asking someone to switch seats with you, or or maybe wearing your tinted lenses in a public space, even though you're like no one else is wearing green or red lenses. I feel silly. But just finding ways to say, like, hey, like this is what I'm doing. And to me, that lumps under the lumps, it can be lumped under under the category of boundaries where you're like, I want to be in this space. What's happening is not okay for my system. I am going to do XYZ to be able to change this for myself. Absolutely. And it's not something that happens overnight. It, you know, really makes me think about, you know, for the first year and a half, two years, I had an extraordinarily hard time putting to words all that I was experiencing. The levels of loss, the levels of struggle, you know, and I was constantly having to check in whether it was with doctors or well-meaning friends and loved ones, right? Saying, like, how are you today? And I'd be like, oh, not good, but I wouldn't really go into it. And then one day it was a very distinct moment. I was sitting at my at the kitchen table and I just had this moment where I was trying to do a little bit of journaling, although I couldn't write very well either after my brain injury. I had a lot of spelling errors, etc. And I just had this moment where I thought, no, I I am no, I'm just not doing this anymore. The next time someone asks me how I am, I choose in myself to be very honest. And if that makes them uncomfortable, I'm okay with that. That's not my purpose to make them uncomfortable, but I actively choose to speak my truth. And I'm not kidding, it very much happened like that one day. And I just did. And I did see, you know, when someone asked me how I was, I was like, actually, I've had um a headache for five days straight. Um, I've only eaten like a couple fruits because I can't remember how to cook. I'm forced to drive to a lot of appointments, but sometimes I can't remember what a green or red light means. Um, and I have anxiety. And that was, you know, a good friend. And, you know, keeping in mind the concept of emotional dumping and such and sharing and like where that where that lays. Um, but just being able to speak so honestly and share things like that really changed a lot internally in showing up for myself in the ways that I needed. And again, not emotionally dumping. But that was just sort of my gateway into being like, oh my gosh, I can share these really hard things that I've been hiding for so long.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 39:03

Yeah, because that's exhausting too. When again, it comes back to the idea of like having to wear a mask can be so exhausting if you feel like you have to act like everything's fine. I'm gonna hide just how uncomfortable I am in in this moment or in this day.

Chaandani Khan: 39:17

Right, exactly, exactly. Um, you know, and so we're we're talking a lot about like overstimulation and just being aware of environments, and I think we should segue into how to support your system. Um, there are lots of different ways that, you know, when you think about the holidays, you think about attending events, you think about being social. Maybe it's social in a massive, you know, massive group, like you're at a festival in your city. Maybe it's social with having, you know, three friends in in someone's home having a book club night or having some kind of like a Christmas craft or holiday craft that you're making, right? Um, I know that you like you talk often about food and supplementing your system that way. Did you want to, did you want to start us off?

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 39:57

Yeah, I mean, I think one of the things that was helpful for me was the fact that I I needed to go gluten-free a long time ago. But when I did that, it started to become so obvious to me, just the the food industry as a marketing system that really just takes advantage of every single holiday. And so when you can't eat the pink cupcakes for Valentine's Day and the green cupcakes for St. Patrick's Day and the blue cupcakes for Easter, whatever it is, right? It's like you start to just realize wow, every single holiday just becomes an opportunity for the food industry to sell me something that is um artificially colored and completely sugar laden. And since I was forced to give all that up, I was kind of grateful that I'm like, this isn't even an option for me. And I always actually developed a sense of um, I don't know if pride is the right word, but I was, you know, a lot of people say, oh, I've gained 15 pounds over the holidays. And I never wanted to have a yo-yo diet and I never wanted to have a yo-yo weight. And so for me, the this whole idea of just overindulging or eating or drinking too much because you've got celebration after celebration, I knew that my body was just way too sensitive and I didn't want to even create that challenge in my life. And so for me, it was always okay, how do I, how do I modulate this? Like I need a game plan going into this event, whether that game plan is I'm gonna eat dinner before I go to the dinner, or I'm going to, you know, bring food with me, or I'm gonna bring my own beverages. And I think now that's become pretty normal because so many people do have food sensitivities or food allergies, or you know, don't drink alcohol. And so I think at this point in society, that is so normal, it's become normalized. It's it's no longer like you're the weird person if you have to bring your own gluten-free whatever. Like yeah, right. So that's the good news. That is good news.

Chaandani Khan: 42:00

Yeah, like for all of you who are entering this space uh now, um, your path is carved for you in means of dietary um requests or restrictions or preferences. It's true, it's it's very much normalized, like just the concept of having a different diet. And you know, for someone with a brain injury who, like yourself, maybe you're bringing your own beverages, maybe they're non-alcoholic, you're bringing your own food, your own snacks. Um, you know, at this point, you could probably even tell hosts, and people hosts sometimes are asking too like, do you have any preferences? And it doesn't even require you to go down the whole, oh, I've experienced a brain injury, I'm working through it, etc. It might just be like as surface level as okay, no gluten.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 42:39

That's it. And I think one of the things that has become more obvious for a lot of my patients is that before they had their brain injury, maybe they could tolerate sugar and it wasn't, they didn't notice any ill effects from it. And then after the brain injury, all of a sudden eating sugar became a very obvious trigger for them to have a headache or to feel more brain fog or to feel horrible the next day as far as energy levels. And I think sometimes that's a hard connection for people to make. And maybe sugar is just an example. If we have an increased permeability of the blood-brain barrier and an increased permeability of the gut barrier, well, then we're probably going to be much more sensitive to, you know, sugar and alcohol and processed foods and just stuff like that that maybe somebody didn't quite notice ill effects from prior to their injury. And now those things are really problematic.

Chaandani Khan: 43:39

It is. It absolutely is. And I'm so glad to hear just how you broke that down because so many people don't know about any of what you just shared. They don't know about the blood brain barrier, they don't know about the gut brain access, they don't know these things. And I was one of those people, you know, after my injury, it's something that I learned after being, after struggling, after feeling challenged, after digging myself into the concussion space, after, you know, meeting with some incredible professionals. These are things that I started to take on and learn. And now I kind of tuck those away, and those are my fun facts that I'll just like drop on people sometimes. I'm like, did you know? Um, but but it's so important that, you know, your people, I think if someone doesn't come from a sporting background or a medical background, um, nor have people in their lives in those spaces, they perhaps just are not as aware of the brain's connection to the entire body beyond the brain controls everything we do, right? But when you actually have an injury, it's something that just really puts the brakes on your life and forces you at a certain point to kind of look at these things under a magnifying glass. And if something isn't working, generally also as you know, in this space, if people are chronic, if their symptoms are, you know, lasting longer than a few weeks to a few months, um, you you kind of become a little desperate to start understanding what's going on and what can I take on. And so people go down this, you know, research rabbit hole, if you will. But for others who haven't done that, it's so important to hear what you're sharing.

Dr. Ayla Wolf: 44:58

This was part one of my conversation with Chondani Khan about not just surviving the holidays, but thriving during the holiday season. Please join us next week for the second half of our conversation, and we wish you a very happy holiday. If you have a holiday survival tip you'd like to share, please email us at lifeafterimpact at gmail.com. And the one gift I would love to receive for this holiday is a review of our podcast on your favorite streaming platform. Thanks for listening to Life After Impact, the Concussion Recovery Podcast. Medical disclaimer. This video or podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor-patient relationship is formed. The use of this information and materials included is at the user's own risk. The content of this video or podcast is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and consumers of this information should seek the advice of a medical professional for any and all health related issues. A link to our full medical disclaimer is available in the notes.